There’s a quote I once heard that really helped me in a difficult time. "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain."
Feeling suicidal does not mean you’re weak. It does not mean there’s something wrong with you. As the quote says, it just means you're in extreme pain. And it happens to a lot more people than you think. I have had periods of my life where I’ve been either suicidal or struggled with suicidal thoughts. I have many friends who have been suicidal or struggled with suicidal thoughts. And to be completely honesty, it's scary. It’s terrifying to want to take your own life. It's scary to not feel in control of your own brain and it’s even scarier to live in a society where you can’t feel comfortable talking about it. But the most important thing to know is that feeling suicidal does not mean you’re a freak or that you're crazy or weak. If anything it means that you’re quite strong for still continuing to fight when you’re facing thoughts that tell you to end your own life. Being suicidal just means that you’re a person going through immense pain, and no matter what you may think, you don’t deserve to carry that pain alone. You deserve support and even though it’s scary to look for it, it’s out there. And you are worth it. I personally see life as a series of moments. There are really really bad moments where you may feel like you’re going through Hell and you question whether life is worth living. But if you wait long enough, those moments will pass. And you will get to experience new moments where you can smile and feel grateful that you’re alive to enjoy the life you’re living. :) You'll get there. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800)-273-8255
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One of the symptoms of depression that I hate the MOST is loneliness. It’s something that I’ve been feeling a lot lately as a result of this pandemic, and I know a lot of people can relate to that. Even though my back-to-school transition has been a lot smoother, it’s been a lot lonelier for me. When I’m on campus, I run into people all the time and it keeps me feeling connected. This is something I don’t get at home when I spend the whole day with just my computer.
An upside with loneliness, though, is that it’s just a feeling and that it doesn’t always reflect your current circumstances. This can make it a lot easier to change things than you think. Here are some things I have found that help to alleviate loneliness. 1. Accept the Feeling Before you deal with loneliness, you first have to accept that you’re feeling it. I have this bad habit of feeling like I always have to be happy all the time. Which makes sense because feeling happy just feels good! But, unfortunately, that’s not how life works. We have a whole spectrum of emotions and just because some might not be as pleasant to experience as others, it doesn’t mean that they’re not important. So sometimes we just have to accept the loneliness. We definitely shouldn’t sit and stew in it, but if we spend all our time running away from it then we’re letting the fear of loneliness control our lives. Instead of us being in control. 2. Go. See. People. When you’re feeling lonely, one of the best things you can do is go see people in person (social-distanced, of course). A lot of times when I’m lonely, I don’t have the motivation to see people or I get anxious and feel like people don’t want to hang out with me. But even though it’s hard to do, sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and go spend time with people. Setting up events in advance makes it easier to have things to go to when you’re feeling lonely. And as tempting as it may be, DON’T. CANCEL. I often find that even if I’m not looking forward to being around people, it always makes me feel better than I’d expect. Also, if it's someone you feel comfortable with, then you can talk to them about how you’re feeling. Which also goes a long way in making you feel less lonely. 3. Use Technology to Help You! As nice as it is to see people in person, in today’s day and age it’s a lot more difficult than it used to be. That’s why it’s useful to use technology to CALL people, specifically. There’s just something extremely comforting about hearing someone’s voice. Calling and FaceTiming people has always made me feel anxious, but I’ve found that the more that you do it, the easier it gets. Also, calling is nice because you can do it as soon as the feeling of loneliness hits. And if spontaneity isn’t your thing, you can schedule calls which will give you something to look forward to. 4. Get to Know Yourself I’ve spent a lot of time in college feeling lonely and as a result of that I’ve gotten to know myself a lot better. Dealing with loneliness has made me face the fear of being by myself. And typically, after I get through the initial discomfort, I find it quite enjoyable. There are actually tons of fun things you can do by yourself. For example, you can go for walks, create art, bake, read, or even take yourself places (like the museum!). It’s also nice because now when I hang out with people it’s not because I feel like I need to so I’m not alone, but simply because I’d like to. During college, back to school has always been difficult for me and especially when it comes to my mental health.
See, come round September I’m always excited for the beginning of a new school year. The amazing thing about summer break in college, well at least at my school, is that summer is SUPER long. It gives you enough time to work, sleep, travel, do whatever you want and then still have at least two more months afterwards. Needless to say, unlike high school, by the time summer break is done I’m always ready to go back. But, as much as I love going back to campus and seeing my friends, the transition back to school is always really hard for me. First of all, it’s just crazy on my anxiety. Every year of school I’ve had to move into a new place (either a dorm or apartment) and everyone knows how stressful the moving process is. Not only that, but it’s always really important to me to decorate my room in a way that makes it feel like home. Because at the end of a long school day, I just want somewhere to go where I can feel comfortable. On top of moving in, there are always so many back-to-school events happening and so many friends that I’m trying to see. And then once classes DO start, I have to go through the trouble of finalizing my schedule and getting readjusted to a full time course-load. So, it’s A LOT. It all makes it really hard for me to maintain any semblance of self-care and it leaves me feeling really anxious and overwhelmed. Which eventually leads to me feeling depressed and burnt out. All within the first couple weeks! This year, as crazy as everything is with quarantine, I’m actually still excited to return back to school. Though it’s not the senior year I imagined, this is the first time I’ve felt calm about starting up again in the fall. I’m staying at my parent’s house for Fall classes and am taking a mostly online schedule. Because of this, I don’t have to move in anywhere for the first time in three years and it feels AMAZING. I’ve been here for the past 5 months of quarantine, so needless to say I’m already really situated. Socially, I’m really excited too. My brother and sister graduated from the University of Michigan this past year. Originally, they were supposed to move after graduation to start their full-time jobs. But instead that’s been postponed and they’ve had to start their full time jobs at home. My brother and sister are only a year older than me, so we’re all pretty tight. They’re some of my best friends and I was sad about having to spend my last year of school without them. But now I get at least one more year with them and my parents until we all go our separate ways. After that, who knows the next time my whole family will be together again. Also, basically all of my college friends are in Ann Arbor, 40 min away from my house, so we can still plan social-distanced meetups. For once, instead of a hectic period of change my back to school transition will be a gradual descent into a new semester. This will leave me plenty of time to schedule in my self-care like exercise, meal-prepping, yoga, journalling, meditation, or whatever I need. For example, the first day of classes I started off my day in nature by taking a hike with my mom before I had to jump online for my first class. It was so amazing to have time to spend outdoors doing something just for me! I’m really excited this year to be in control of creating a schedule for me at a pace that works for me. And I really hope that no matter what type of transition you're going through this year, you’re able to feel the same!❤️ |
Naija SunshineHi! My name is Efe and this is my mental health blog where I'll be talking about my experiences with mental illness, as well as my thoughts and tips. Archives
September 2021
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