I think one of the most dangerous things about depression is that it steals your ability to dream. When you're depressed, you're stuck in this never ending moment in which it's hard to remember a time before your depression or to see a time after it. My dreams are usually how I keep myself motivated, but when I'm feeling depressed it's impossible to feel like my dreams are possible or like I can ever feel happy again. That's where gratitude comes in. Gratitude helps change the lens on your depressed outlook, to show you that things might not be as bleak as they seem. Gratitude is really one of the simplest things that has helped me the most with my depression. And not just depression, but having a better outlook on life in general. When you're unable to believe for a better future, gratitude helps you remember the beautiful things you've had before which makes it feel possible to have them again. Now gratitude isn't as simple as just "positive thinking" or "always looking on the bright side of things" and it most definitely isn't toxic positivity. Having gratitude means that you're still aware and accepting of the difficult things in life. It just means that you're working extra hard to balance it out by stopping and noticing what's genuinely good. And it's usually a lot of stuff that we forget to notice. I first started practicing gratitude through the meditation app Calm. I decided to try their 7 day meditation series on the power of gratitude. Afterwards, I've decided to try to keep up with my own daily gratitude practice of writing down ten things that I was grateful for. Similar to how sometimes after you exercise you immediately feel a boost in energy and mood, I had the same effect with gratitude. After keeping the gratitude journal for a week I immediately started to feel a little happier after noticing how many things in life I had to be grateful for. It's now been over two years since I first listened to that meditation series and I now have over 3,000 entries in my gratitude journal. And it's amazing too, because I can see how it's affected my mindset over time. Over the past two years I've noticed how much easier it is for me to recover from setbacks, how I've stopped taking so many things in life for granted, how I've started to cherish the little moments in life along with much more. We all have things to be grateful for, it just gets hard to remember when times are difficult. So start by just focusing on the small things. What are some things that help you get through the day? What things make you feel happy to be alive? I challenge you to take some time today to reflect on what you're grateful for. Maybe even start a gratitude practice. Who knows? You might find that your life is a lot fuller than you thought. Happy World Gratitude Day!
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Recently I've been talking to some friends of mine about people that I would categorize as "the machine." You know these people. You've met them. These are the people who seem to have 48 hours in day and are able to fill every single moment with productivity without breaking a sweat. Burnout doesn't seem to be a word in their vocabulary. They are simply ~built different~. Because they are "the machine." These are the people who work 9-5 jobs and also have founded their own organizations, have published books, created their own fashion labels, and have time for thriving romantic and platonic relationships. Without breaking a sweat.
Now a big thing to note is that these people aren't termed as workaholics because they're not defined by the amount of work, projects and tasks they start in a day. They are defined by their endless motivation and energy to start and complete projects. After talking to my sister and my best friend about these so-called "machines," I have two ideas as to how these people achieve this. 1. They are people who take action, instead of simply staying in motion. I recently read James Clear's book Atomic Habits (highly recommend) and there was this one little section in his book that stuck with me so much. Basically Clear says that there's a difference between taking action and being in motion and it's basically the difference between thinking about something and doing something. I am a thinker and a dreamer. I spend all my time thinking and planning and worrying about every possible outcome of an action instead of just taking action. I have so many ideas that I never carry out because I spend so much time planning to make sure it goes right. That's why the concept of "the machine" appeals so much to me. 2. These people naturally have a stronger desire to do these things versus anything else. For these people, these projects aren't work because doing them gives them a reason to wake up in the morning. There is nothing they'd rather do than go biking every morning or learn how to sew their own clothes or publish books on poetry. These things give them joy and so that's the intrinsic motivation. As a side effect of depression, I don't have motivation. Ever. If I had to wait until I was motivated to do something before I did it, then I wouldn't do anything. Nothing sounds more appealing to me than sitting in bed and doing nothing. Literally, nothing sounds more appealing. And so no matter how much I want to write a book on poetry, that motivation is not going to come effortlessly to me because motivation is something I typically don't have. Don't get me wrong, I have spent my whole life dreaming of becoming "the machine." Before AND after a mental breakdown. Yes, I am self-aware enough to realize that there have been periods of my life where I have achieved super-human productivity levels but whenever I did it led to extreme burnout, emotional/physical harm and danger to my wellbeing. Comparing myself to the standards of "the machine" is extremely damaging as a person with mental illness as it's holding myself to something that isn't natural for my body to attain. Comparing yourself to people who are "machines" is unhealthy for anyone, though, because you're preventing yourself from recognizing and honoring your own needs, capabilities and skills which might be different from everyone else's. And also, I've been starting to learn that there there are some upsides from not living as "the machine." Like having the ability to live life slowly and intentionally, instead of scrambling to make every moment as productive as possible. Giving you time to appreciate the little things in life! Like noticing the different shades of leaves on a tree. Listening to rain fall outside. Or maybe just watching the sky at sunset :). |
Naija SunshineHi! My name is Efe and this is my mental health blog where I'll be talking about my experiences with mental illness, as well as my thoughts and tips. Archives
September 2021
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